It's hard to live a dual life. Pretending I'm not sick in front of my loved ones is not an easy task. Often, they ask me if I am okay or what. Deep inside, I am shouting, crying for help, looking for a person I can talk to.
Gusto ko na lang umiyak kasi hindi ko kayang dalhin ang pasanin na ito. Ayoko magalala sila sa akin. Gusto kong magpakatatag para sa kanila. Gusto ko itong labanan. Gusto kong mabuhay para sa kanila.
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Thursday, May 5, 2011
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
DAY 1- My journey begins.
Hi. I'm ________ and I am positive with HIV.
Yesterday, I was informed that I was reactive HIV. A confirmatory test will be done to finally seal my fate.
I don't know, I wasn't shocked to find out, I've been thinking that I have this 'illness'. What I'm worried about is my partner. I haven't divulged my status to anyone yet. I am not hoping that everything will be fine, I don't want to set my expectations. I can't help but to cry. I have disappointed a lot of people. I feel that everyone will look down on me because of this...
When I woke up this morning, everything seems normal. Breakfast, a bit of tv, vitamins (which I will religiously take from now on.) Everything is normal, except the I know that I am positive with HIV. Today, I'll start my journey as a HIV+ person. Calling all pozzies out there, Help me.
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